A Message from The Great Curator
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Then I picked up a dusty volume of Herodutus’s' Histories from a shelf and immediately knew that it was all complete bollocks.
It didn't take me long to realise that all history was lies and they were all out to get me, so I set out with my trusty history pencil to gather real history. History not recorded by those stuff shirted arse-mongers at Oxford or Cambridge. This is the real thing.
So what if my only qualification is City and Guilds Grouting? I am the curator! The greatest collector of knowledge that the universe has ever seen.
Here in this place, here, I have gathered the finest and truest histories known to man and I hope you enjoy them.
This week’s episode of Touching the Past is the history of History.
When I was a young man, history was my mistress, my dominatrix and my thruppeny upright.
So I am delighted to bring you this detailed and thought provoking podular-broadcast.
When I first began my foray into history I knew that it would often surprise me and sometimes shock.
In the case of the lemon, it did neither.
Hope you enjoy this.
Well, lets confess it! Only the people at the highest levels of government know how ladles work. Now you do.
Use this knowledge to stop Brexit or if it has already happened to rid thyself of vastly vomits.
He Should be Trundled Out on a Biddy
In the sleepy breasts of West Yorkshire sits a small town called Cleckheaton. This is a town with a secret only know to millions. It is the town where the phrase ‘he should be trundled out on a biddy’ originates and the only place where you can find it etched into a thousand pork pies.
I hope you enjoy this history.
Some people think that they know how telly began. They do not know how telly began.
We know how telly began and soon you will know how telly began. It began like this….